There's a saying for people with anger-management problems that goes along the following lines (not that I have an anger-management problem..but anyway): Other people cannot make you angry, only your reaction to them can.

Well, I firmly believe that some people are just annoying.

Annoying enough to make me want to punch them in the face. And I don't do punching because I'm very delicate and it would make my hand hurt, so you can tell what a serious predicament I'm in here.

You may remember a post a while back about an irritating fucker in my class (although who am I kidding? I know the only reason you're reading this is because you have an eye infection or chlamydia), let's call him Björn Förarglig.

Well last week in my seminar, there was this person sitting up the back coughing. I don't mean like, a cough here, a cough there, I mean coughing continuously for two and a half hours. They weren't even gross sick sounding coughs, just pansy girl coughs. Continuously. Anyway, I was sitting there thinking, "Why doesn't that stupid person coughing get some water or shut the hell up? They're really annoying," and at the same time I was thinking, "God that person is annoying, if that were me I'd be embarrassed to disrupt the class like this continuously for two and a half hours." I wasn't sure who it was...until doom doom doom... said cougher opened his mouth and started talking pretentious bull-shit in a voice that was very familiar. Björn Förarglig, you disgusting, chauvinistic, muffin-eating, greasy-haired, long-fingernailed specimen of hope for our species: welcome back into my life.


Stay tuned for Part Two, in which Ellie has to be physically restrained from bodily harm toward a different a classmate because he's a condescending idiot who knows nothing but likes to talk.

We'll call him Björn Pinsamt. Because I think it's funny to call people Björn.