When I finished school, I ended up in the Closet. Literally. The Closet. It was across the road from a clothes store called Gai Abandon, and was frequented on Saturday mornings by still-drunk uni students taking pictures of each other making lewd gestures under the storefront sign.

The only thing I wanted in life, was to not be in Armidale. I probably wanted like, a boyfriend or something, and a social life too, but it was Armidale and I was fat* in high school, so I never stood a chance.

A haven of up-market shabby chic, the Closet was packed so full that the only people who ever really felt comfortable walking around in there were the staff. I lasted a year, and I was traumatised. I need never own distressed furniture (bought from a sketchy man from the middle of nowhere and painted cream), or faux vintage serving ware. Nor do I have any desire to have patchwork quilts. Those mother fuckahs are murder to fold.

All around me, my friends were escaping and once my year was up, and my neuroses about being very poor once I moved to Sydney were somewhat calmed by a chunk of cash in my bank account,  so too did I escape.

I said mean shit about Armidale to people. I made it sound really bad. Like.. as though there are actual in-bred people in the town (though still, I make no comment about what can be found out of town). I got told by someone who went to one of those Sydney private schools where straw hats, knee high socks and boat shoes count as casual wear and who, presumably, think that Paramatta counts as regional, that I didn't talk "like someone from the country." Because, you know, we speak funny...well, not me..but you know...people from the country.

But now, when I go back, I *gulp* I don't know.. fuck, I mean, I sort of like it. 

For one thing, the weather there is my favourite type (it is never hot, and bitterly cold often). And in Autumn, there is no place nicer.

There are open spaces, and animals, and I am not too scared to drive a car. Also, it's normal there to slow down when the traffic lights turn orange. NORMAL.



I think maybe one day I would like to go back there. I could have a house and a puppy, and grow organic vegetables. I mean, I could try to grow them, at least.


Just..um... don't tell anyone that I told you.



*Fatter, I should say.