I need some help. Obvs I need help in many ways..but specifically, I need someone who has travelled on New Zealand's South Island to weigh in with ideas of brilliance. Brilliance.

I haven't been on a holiday with my beloved since October 2010. That's a long a time between drinks. I haven't been overseas with my beloved since June 2009, and we had a big fight because he told me that he only asked me to go with him because his bestie couldn't, and also, I can read a bus timetable in German. I was pretty pissed. And I can't even read German, I was just guessing. Here I am pissed, and Rob is sheepish. You see??

Anyway, he learned his lesson, and doesn't mess with me when I'm jet-lagged anymore. My German comprehension improved a bit too. Pfft.






















This time we are going road-tripping, just for a week, in New Zealand. Apparently it is not normal to schedule holidays too precisely, so (unlike the Broome trip) I have resisted the urge to itinerise nap times and internet breaks. I smashed my iPad anyway, so internet breaks could be difficult.

The plan.

Day 1:Akaroa
Day 2: Lake Tekapo
Day 3: Mount Cook
Day 4 & 5: Queenstown
Day 6 & 7: Te Anau/Milford Sound

My whole idea for going to Akaroa was centred around seeing the biggest damn penguin colony on the South Island, but it turns out that in March the little fuckers have all gone out to see. Devastated.  Alls I can say is that if we go on a harbour cruise (does that sound a bit naff...?) there had better be seals. Or at least a dolphin.

In Tekapo, I want to walk around the lake and go to the Mt John Observatory at night. The observatory at night; I'd like to look at the lake in the daylight. I'd also like to wear my hiking boots again (6 days in Tasmania in 2008; they've been in the same plastic bag, with the same dried mud, ever since) so I think Mount John via Lake Shore sounds worthy...

In Mount Cook I want to put my nose on a glacier. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I need it to happen.

In Queenstown I am open to ideas. I just know that I would be absolutely crap playing frisbee golf and that ziplining will make me wee my pants. Just sayin.

I know that on one day, from Te Anau, we shall day-trip to Milford Sound. Is there any other reason to be in Te Anau? I have my fingers crossed for a penguin. Just one will do. Two would be better, or maybe a baby penguin, but I know that beggars cannot choose.  I quite like the idea of some kayaking on the Sound, too.

How does this sound? Obviously I haven't scheduled the inevitable melt-down that will happen when I am driving and take a wrong turn. Or conversely, the wrong turn that will come when I am navigating;  I think both will come in their own sweet time. But otherwise... is anything missing?